Thursday, July 16, 2009

Forgive and Forget?

I don't forgive people because I am weak.
I forgive people because I understand that they make mistakes, that people change and that one action shouldn't define someone for the rest of their life

It's hard though, isn't it? If someone does something so dramatic, so seemingly unforgivable, something that impacts and affects your life so much, no one WANTS to forgive. Forgiving hurts. Forgiving takes time. Forgiving is difficult.

I've learnt to not hold grudges, because I'd like to be treated in the same way. There have been many times when I've needed to be forgiven - because I'm not perfect. WE are not perfect. None of us.

There are definitely things that I can completely see why someone couldn't forgive - a broken relationship with a parent, someone hurting you in some way, whether it be mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually - maybe even something worse, like being abandoned, being kicked out of home. But not forgiving drags you down too. It grabs a hold of you until you start to lose sense of who you are and where you're going.

Forgiving hurts. But not forgiving hurts too.


  1. So much wisdom in the one little package! :)

    I know what you mean, it can be really suffocating just to stew - forgiveness is like closure; fresh air.
    You kind of die of asphyxiation without it.

  2. The thing about forgiveness, for me, is that the person needs to show remorse for their actions. If they don't feel like they have done something wrong, very hard to forgive them.
    And, yes, none of us are perfect, we all sin, so we need to find the ability to forgive...

  3. Not forgiving, holding a grudge, is like holding onto a hot coal. The only person that's hurting is you. Drop the coal and move on. Do it for you.

  4. Wow ... just wow! Printing this out.

  5. Agreed. Wish I had learned this sooner in life. Not forgiving is self-destructive. It's a terrible way to waste your life.