Hide and Seek

Hide and seek used to be my favourite childhood game, so long ago. Hiding was never an issue for me - I'm short. I guess usually the only thing that would give me away was my tendency to giggle whenever I heard footsteps coming directly towards me. Games like Hide and Seek have an air of innocence about them. And once that innocence is stripped away, all that is left is a small child; broken, hurting and craving someone to take the pain away.

I think that's what I do now. Associate that game with him.

Once the past is gone, you can't get it back. You can't get back what someone took from you.

I guess looking forward is the only option.

Labyrinth

There are moments when I just want to flip out.

Scream to the sky. Tear sheets of white paper up until all the pieces flutter around me like flakes of delicious snow.

I'm not crazy. Not really. I just bottle my emotions up inside of me - something that I presume the majority of human-beings do.

Sometimes I get so tired, so exhausted - mentally and physically - that I just want to give up. I don't want to deal with anything.

During those times, I have to remind myself to breathe. I have to remind myself that tough times don't last forever, that there's always a way out of the labyrinth.

I guess that I want this post to encourage you, in some strange way.
Emotions are normal. Rest is essential. When life is spinning out of control and the only option seems to be falling to your knees, give in. But don't give up.

One other thing I want to tell you today - thank you for being a part of my life.

Love, Bek x

About Me :)

I used to think that there were so many words that described me, like loud and crazy, happy-go-lucky, but really I’ve come to think that no one should be defined or bound by certain words. Sometimes I can be shy too, but I guess that’s something you wouldn’t really expect. There are days I want to live life to the full and there are other times when I just want to stay in bed all day. I’m not really a fan of the city; I’ve always been a country bumpkin, I’ve always been scared of the beach, I’ve always been a big procrastinator and I’ve always been stubborn.

I’m very indecisive, I hate making choices and sometimes I try to make others make the decision for me. I’m a vegetarian, my favourite colour is red and I love shoe shopping. I’m a book worm, a prolific talker, a lover of life, of flowers, of chances, of love. I hate being nasty to people, I hate others being nasty to people and I wish I could sort the world’s problems out.

I don’t like milk, I’m short, I adore dancing when no one is watching and singing when no one can hear ... Sometimes I wish I would never grow old because I get scared of the future and what’s to come. I’m a big fan of smiley faces, of kiddie TV shows, of rainbows, Eskimos and fairy floss. I also eat way too many orange tic tacs.

I love being around other people, but I also love being alone. I couldn’t imagine a world without friends, or colours, ribbons, bags or stationary.

I’m scared to live, and I’m scared to die which means I’m pretty screwed.

I always think of the worst possible scenario, which generally means I’m left holding the bags while friends go and enjoy themselves.

I love rain, innocence and writing. I hope all three of those stay with me forever.

My Song Lyrics...

I stand. You take my hand.
This isn’t what you had planned
For me.
You’ve set me free.

I stood. You knew I could.
You’d never let me fall, I put my hope in you.
And as I wait, you sealed fate.
You took my guilt off me and nailed it to your cross.

And as I walk down the pathway
That led Him to that day
I wonder if I ever saw Him
What would I think to say?
He paid the price of sacrifice
On that forsaken day
The battle fought, a lesson taught
But yet there’s still today...

We watch,
as our Blameless One takes on our guilty lives,
Amazing grace,
He took our place
So He could see the joy written upon our face.

And as I walk down the pathway
That led Him to that day
I wonder if I ever saw Him
What would I think to say?
He paid the price of sacrifice
On that forsaken day
The battle fought, a lesson taught
But yet there’s still today...

Still today, we turn away.
We look to worldly things, we think He doesn’t care.
We know He’s there, His gentle touch.
He wants us to love him, He doesn’t ask for much.

We turn to Him
And we could learn from Him
And we should understand
It's what He planned ... what He planned.
© Scarlett Rose

The Last Dance

I pressed my hands over my ears and ran from the house, not even bothering to close the door behind me – I wasn’t going to listen to the lies that came from her mouth, I wasn’t going to listen to her tell me my Papa was gone, my hero, my mentor, my source of happiness in life.

Down the stone path I sprinted, as far away as possible, between pink and red and yellow flowers, past the fountain where the angel stood tall reaching out her hand in that comforting way, until finally I was at the clearing where he and I had come so many times, him sitting on the rock and me dancing as the sun disappeared into the majestic mountains as a milieu.

Today though, the sun was not in sight and angry grey clouds stood above me as it slowly started to sprinkle light drops of rain - I wish I had thought to bring something with me, a jumper, a blanket, a lifejacket that would keep me afloat as I drowned in my sorrow, my hopelessness, my despair.

All I had brought was myself.

I began to dance for him, as the rain fell around me.